I had a chat with someone about Kerry today...and it just stuck with me. I had to do it. I had to see the ring I bought her, the ring I refused to look at until now, the ring I can't get rid of for some reason. It is the only real thing that keeps Kerry with me, minus the random phones conversations and texts we have rarely.
I feel like a glutton for punishment, because I had to listen to the CD I burned for her for Christmas. It didn't bother me like I thought it would...but it is funny.
I made the CD as a walk through our relationship, each song representing a different point in our life together, in correct order. For once, listening to these songs, from Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride (Lilo & Stitch - Our first date and kiss) to Everything (Michael Buble - to show her that even after 5 and a half years, she still was my entire world), brought good memories. Sure, it still doesn't sit well that its over, and the possibility of being together swiftly diminishes as time goes by, but I'm not losing my mind and crying my eyes out like I used to do. I would call that serious progress.
Some people search a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
That always stays with me...those words from our song. Well, it was our song. I guess its just a song now...but it will always mean something to me.
I think, now more than ever, I don't want a girlfriend. I don't need a girlfriend. I just need a companion. Someone not so much to have and to hold...but someone who can cuddle with me. Someone that I know will feel safe in my arms, and snuggles up to me not because I'm comfortable, or that I'm warm, or that because we are all squeezed in on a couch.
I want someone who wants to snuggle...because she would rather be no other place in the world.
Maybe that's asking for too much. I don't know. Friendship is awesome, and I do have amazing friends, especially the four that I know read this blog. I just....sometimes, want a hand to hold.
When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
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