I don't know why, but I'm in a piss poor mood this evening. It is totally my family's fault too. I had a great first day at work. I loved Wal-Mart. It was a boatload of fun, and I learned a lot about a company that I could potentially work for, and reap great benefits.
I fucking hate my brother. All he does is grate in to me about things, mainly money, and rubs it in to my face how I basically fail at life. I understand that I fucked up, but its like every day that I am home is a constant reminder of how I couldn't finish school...and there is nothing I can do to fix it...mainly because I don't want to!
I'm so sick of this town. Suffield is just this great place to raise kids and be stupid and rich...I don't want to be here! I also, have no escape...no capital, no vehicle that is technically mine. I want to move to a dynamic place, a place that people are up at night and doing things, and there is stuff to do. Hell, the only thing that can keep me here right now is Megan.
I care about her a lot, and she would literally be the only force strong enough to keep me in Massachusetts/Northern Connecticut. I hate the fact that I have doubts simply because I over analyze things and am scared of missing things. I hate that I do that. I just feel like I am constantly setting myself up for failure recently. The last two years have been like that...I just want it to stop.
I'm really sick of drama right now. I get really really angry and sad that people are going through what they are going through. I'm angry because they don't deserve it. Their significant others don't deserve them, and they don't deserve to be treated like they are...but its like no one listens.
I just don't want to see any of my friends in such a poor situation. I just think that they all are going to end up hurt, distraught, crying...
plus, being all pissy doesn't help me writing this without any of my friends (yes, multiple) feeling like I'm singling them out. I'll always be there friend...I just....I just wish they could see what everyone else saw.
