I haven't posted in a long time, and I definetily have a lot to write, and to be honest, I'm looking for some sort of feedback, because the people who generally read this are my closest friends, and my most trusted advisors (even if I don't keep in touch like I should).
First, the good news: I have a MAJOR job interview tomorrow with The Hartford. I don't think this is the kind of place that will hire me on the spot tomorrow, but a guy can hope, right? This job can give me the cashflow I need to get a new computer and a new car! How exciting....and maybe not even a used one!
If all goes well at the interview/test tomorrow, I could be giving my notice to Wal-Mart tomorrow. Its exciting, although I hate to leave Wal-Mart...there are some great people over there.
Ok, confusing parts incoming:
I've been chatting with/seeing Kerry for a couple of weeks now, and we've been discussing the potential possibility of getting back together. The general consensus from my friends (you people) was that this was a bad idea...as you are all great friends and don't want to see me get hurt. I'll admit that at the time, I was hopeful, but skeptical at the same time. Initially, I was very hopeful, and thought that Kerry and I finally had a chance to move on from what had happened and could focus on what could happen.
The honest truth is that now, I am see-sawing on this issue. Some nights when I come to visit, its great: she is all smiles, and its like when we used to actually date, so happy to just be in each other's presence. Most of the other nights, however, she's really tired from doing her normal stuff, and all she seems to want me there for is to help her sleep (apparently I help her relax) and to help with chores so she can go to bed. I kinda hate that. It bothers me.
I dislike the fact I have too much faith in us, because the truth is I feel like I want us to work for bad reasons. Mainly because I feel like I've already met, and lost out on enough people who could've been amazing companions. Ugh, hate this feeling. I don't know what to do anymore.
-T
