I find myself as time goes on becoming increasingly lonely and sad as I realize just how cruel life can be. Granted, I don't think I help it much...I constantly surround myself with people who berate me and make me unhappy...my family. Plus, I started listening to country music...which is all about true love, and I continually am reminded of how unappealing I am to women...despite the fact that I like to think I'm this amazing guy.
I finally got to Kerry the thought that her and I could never ever get back together. She kinda finally lost it. I can't just reject someone and go on living without being affected...I'm not that person. The worst part was that even though I knew we were never workable, the fact that she was there, a reminder that someone actually loves me for who I am, really helped me in the sense that that possibility actually exists like there is another person who could.
I hate being mopey and sad like this. Granted, I haven't been truly happy for longer than I can remember. I can't remember the last time I felt like everything I wanted to go my way was going that way. I just needed to vent that...ugh what a week.
